The Mogambo Guru, Richard Daughtry, heaps ridicule and sarcasm at the Fed.

The Fed was, as I recall, charged with maintaining a “stable currency”, which they have manifestly failed to do, seeing that the dollar has lost 96% of its value since 1913, which is now officially “enough of all of it that it can be considered to be all”, a lesson in “rounding off” that I learned after I took a lousy $20 from my wife’s purse when she wasn’t looking, and when I came back, there she was, bad mood and all, holding her stupid purse like I needed some kind of audio-visual materials to refresh my memory or something. So, to keep it from being a total loss, I gave her what I had left: 80 cents.

“But,” I explained, “you got back 80 cents, which is only a loss of 96% of the original $20, which is the same loss that the Federal Reserve has given us in the purchasing power of the dollar, but you don’t make a big fuss with the Federal Reserve! You won’t even sign the hate mail that I write for you to send to them, with your signature and your fingerprints on the paper, wherein you protest their glaring incompetence and their neo-Keynesian econometric stupidities!”

Well, let me tell you that I never, ever heard the end of the story about that damned $20. Never! But I noticed, and constantly protested, that nothing is ever, ever said of the 80 cents I gave her back. Nothing!

And why is that? Because it proves that, as far as she is concerned, I have lost “all” of the money, which she demonstrated by throwing the handful of change right at my head from point-blank range. One of the quarters hit my forehead with a “thunk!” where it left a red mark and a little lump, and when I cried out in my pain and mortal anguish, she laughed and said, “Good!” which shows you the kind of crap that I put up with around here all the time.

So there are several lessons here. One is that even a girl can throw a quarter hard enough to hurt the hell out of your forehead if she is standing close enough and is angry enough, and another lesson is to not spend the money you take from your wife’s purse for a few days to see if she notices it missing, and if she does, then you can seize the purse, saying, “Let me look in there!” and surreptitiously put the money back in the purse while rifling around in there so that you can “find” it and, holding it aloft, triumphantly say, “Hey!”

The biggest lesson is that the Federal Reserve is still destroying the dollar by creating so many more dollars so that the government can borrow them and spend them, which means that you should be buying gold, silver and oil in a Freaking Mogambo Panic (FMP), using the dwindling purchasing power your dollars.

And if you don’t, then you can take comfort in that you are in the majority of investors that must lose so that the minority of investors, who do, can make the money which makes it all so easy that you find yourself saying, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”

Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron’s, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications.